Longing for your smile
by Forbidden Angelus
Summary: Seifer returns to the Garden, Zell is his roommate and... WARNING!!! *YAOI* and *YURI* story... please r/r REVIEWED VERSION!!!!!!! *Chapter 7 added!!!* THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!!!
1. Everything's normal... maybe

Seifer looked at the picture in his hand and sighed

Seifer looked at the picture in his hand and sighed. He traced the line of the smiling face in the photo and sighed again. 

__

It cost me lots of guil… but it's worth them… he thought _…He's so beautiful here…_

He sighed for the third time. He was in his bedroom in the Garden, yes in the Garden. Cid had allowed him back but everyone still hated him. Squall and his friends tried to treat him civilly and he appreciated it, but whenever he walked around all of the students give him cool stares and talked behind his back. The things got worse when he fell in love, with… with _him. So damn beautiful… And so unreachable…_ he checked his clock "Time for the class…" he whispered, standing up.

He entered the class and sat at his chair. He was in the last row, alone. All the students where talking about him and the shame he was for the Garden, but he didn't care. The teacher was saying things that he already knew, so he had time to watch again the picture 

__

I know he won't ever love or even care for me, but I'm helpless… 

Then the teacher said something very interesting 

"Class, the next SeeD exam will be in three days, deadline for sign-up will be in four hours…" 

__

SeeD exam?? If I pass I'll be spending more time with him, he's a SeeD, isn't he? 

"Yo Squall, have you heard??" Zell asked him 

"What??" 

"We will be in charge for the next SeeD exam!!" he said "We'll look over the students!!" 

"Yeah??" 

"Yes, Me, you, Selphie and Quistis!!" 

"What is the mission??" 

"Headmaster told me that we received a SOS by some people on the Island Closest to Hell… The message said that they were attacked by some kind of soldiers…" 

"Soldiers?! No one can live there, it's full of monsters!" Squall exclaimed 

"I know, that's why Headmaster wants us to follow the students and keep ready for everything…" Zell answered 

"HEY!!!" Selphie exclaimed, running to them "Have you heard??" she asked, excited 

"Of the SeeD exam??" Squall asked "Yes…" 

"We were talking 'bout it…" Zell said 

"Oh, so you know that Seifer's trying out??" 

"Seifer??!!" 

"Yes!! He said that he'll pass this time, he was pretty firm." Selphie continued "Oh, Irvine is calling me… Bye!!" 

"Seifer is going to do the exam…" Zell repeated "Let's hope he won't be in my group…" 

"Why??" 

"Because… Because he's always pissing me off!! With all of you is changed, you can even talk with him without fight!! But with me he's different, he's always calling me Chicken Wuss and I… I hate that!!" 

"Hey, Zell… Take it easy…" Squall said "…Put yourself in his position, he hasn't any friends here, everyone is turning the back to him, he's loner and loner… The only people who treat him like a human being are we, who was once his enemy… Do you think it's easy for him to get over this whole mess??" Squall asked, finally. Zell was speechless. He'd never thought of Seifer in this terms… _Maybe he's different under that cocky-bastard mask…_

"Hey Squall, hey chicken wuss!!" 

__

…No! Definitely not!!

"Seifer…" Zell hissed 

"Hey, chicken wuss… Have you heard?? I'm in your group!!" Seifer said 

__

Oh no!! thought Zell 

"So you'll be my teacher!!" Seifer said, before turning away. 

"I HATE him!!" Zell exclaimed. 

"Hey, Almasy!!" someone shouted "You traitor!!" 

"Watch your mouth boy!!" Seifer said 

"Hey, what's going on there??" Zell asked to no one, turning toward the crowd that had gathered around Seifer and another student. 

"You shouldn't be here, Almasy!!" the student said 

"But, _I'm_ here, problems??" he said, crossing his arms 

"Of course!! You are a traitor, Almasy!! And the traitors must die!!" he shouted 

"Okay, now?? What should I do?? Trembling with fear, genius??" Seifer retorted, grinning 

"Stop, you two!!" Zell exclaimed, emerging from the crowd 

"I wasn't doing anything…" Seifer said 

"Seifer, go to your room." Zell said, then pointed at the other boy ignoring Seifer's comment 'Yes, mommy' "And you'll come with me to the Headmaster!!" 

Seifer turned back and did what Zell had told him, while he was going away, the boys whispered about him some 'bastard' arrived at his ears and something worst, too. He pretended he didn't care and went to his room. 

Seifer locked the door behind him and sighed heavily. He sat on the bed and rest his head on his hand 

"Shit…" he whispered. 

He couldn't hold this anymore, he felt as if there was a heavy weight on his back, that pressed him down, that prevented him from breathe. 

"Shit…" he repeated, laying on the bed. He reached in his pocket and took out the picture. He kissed it, then he turned around and tried to sleep.

"Headmaster Cid, here is the boy." Zell said, bringing the boy inside "What's your name?" Cid asked 

"Galt, Kenneth… Student ID: 324567, Sir!" he said 

"Why did you attack Seifer Almasy?" 

"He's a traitor, sir." Kenneth answered 

"A traitor? Zell, can you please leave us?" Zell nodded and got out of the room.

"Hey, Zell!" Squall called him "What did Cid said?" 

"He's still talking with him." The blonde answered. 

"Never mind. Here is the memo." Squall said, handing him a bunch of papers 

"The memo??" 

"Yes, the SeeD exam. We'll divide in four groups and follow the instructions." Squall said, walking away.

Zell shuddered and started to read the memo. 

GARDEN MEMO to: Almasy, Seifer; Dincht, Zell; McKinley, Crys.br

Re: SeeD test.

"This is a reminder to be ready tomorrow at seven AM (0700 h) for departure to the Island Closest to Hell. You will be a rescue team. You must find Lady of the Sea's crew. Zell Dincht will act as you squad leader. You will be briefed again in more detail on the transport." 

GARDEN MEMO end.

Zell sighed again and went to his room.


	2. The mission

It was raining

It was raining. Hard. 

Squall and the others were on the ship that was going to the Island Closest to Hell. 

"Then…" Squall began "We will approach on the Island and we'll split up in four groups, a SeeD and two students. Me, Kenneth and Shelly will be A Squad; Quistis, Bryan and Kelly will be the B Squad; Selphie, Evan and Mik will be the C Squad; Zell, Seifer and Crys will be the D Squad; got it?" 

They all nodded. Squall switch the computer screen. It was showing the Island Closest to Hell 

"As you can see the Island is divided in four areas: A, B, C and D. Each squad will search for the missing crew in the area with its name. We have three hours to find the ten missing people. When a Squad will find the people the Squad leader will have to call the ship and go back. Even if the missing people aren't in your area you must act properly and follow your Squad leader's instructions. Any questions?" 

a girl with flaming red hair raised her hand "Yes Crys?" 

"How can we locate the missing crew with this weather?" 

"Well, you have a Human-Tracer that will allow you to spot other people in the area of 100 meters." 

"So that's the use of this shit!!" Crys exclaimed, looking at the Human-Tracer on her wrist "Cool!!" 

"Anyway… Any other question?" Squall asked. Everyone stayed silent. 

"Good, then…" Squall opened the hatch of the ship and he and the others stepped out. They were dressed with waterproof clothes, but they were instantly wet and cold 

"It's raining cats and dogs!!" Crys exclaimed, squeezing her eyes and trying to see something over the driving rain. Her attempts failed. 

"It won't be an easy thing." Zell muttered 

"Ready?? Let's go, then!!" All the Squads went in their own directions. 

"Welcome to the Hell." Seifer said, before following Zell and Crys.

"I can't see a damn thing!!" Crys exclaimed "Squad leader!! Can you see anything??" 

"What??" Zell asked. His hair was all wet and down on his forehead 

"Can you see anything, Chicken wuss??!!" Seifer yelled over the rain 

"NO!! And I'm not a chicken." 

"The Chicken said that he can't see a damn thing!!" Seifer yelled to Crys 

"I'm NOT a chicken!!!" Zell yelled. 

Seifer was about to reply when his Human-Tracer began to beep "What??!" 

"There're four men ahead of us. They're at thirty meters!!" Crys said 

"Let's go!!" Zell exclaimed, putting his hair away from his eyes.

Even if he and Crys were wearing heavy clothes they were completely soaked, but Seifer's coat kept him dry (at least the part of his body that it was covering). 

"I have a bad felling, Chicken wuss…" Seifer muttered "…Have you noticed that none of the monsters has attacked us, yet?" 

"It's raining hard, Almasy!!" Crys said 

"Right!! We're easy preys, now… We can't see or hear a damn thing unless it's only a few meters in front of us!! Then why aren't they attacking us??!" 

"Seifer's right, as much as I hate to admit." Zell said 

"'cause I like fightin' that doesn't mean I'm stupid!!" Seifer yelled to be heard. 

"Hey!!!" the scarred blonde exclaimed, suddenly 

"What happened??!" 

"The damn thing must be broken, Chicken wuss!!" 

Zell ignored the nickname and take a look at the Human-Tracer "I don't see anything…" he said 

"That's right! A moment ago four men were ahead of us, and then they were disappeared!!" Seifer exclaimed "The damn thing must be broken!!" 

"But Squall said that it's water-proof!!" Zell replied 

"What do we do now, Chicken Wuss?" 

"First of all don't call me Chicken Wuss, second of all--" 

"SHIITT!!" 

"What the he--??!!" 

"Crys!!" 

"Shit!! Let's move on!!" the red-haired girl yelled 

"What happened??!!" 

"Three Red Dragons!!" Crys shouted 

"Three??! Together??!! They never move in a pack!!" Zell exclaimed. 

He shut up, however, when three Red Dragons came in sight "Shit!!" Zell exclaimed "Run!!" 

They ran. 

Crys was the first, then came Zell and Seifer. The older boy was running like hell when he saw something 

"Zell!!" he screamed "Watch out!!" 

Zell turned around just in time to see another Red Dragon hitting him in the side. 

Zell crashed on the ground hard. He was still and kept his eyes closed, afraid of they could have seen. He waited for the dragon to tear him apart, to dig his long teeth in his flesh, to… 

"Zell, are you okay??" Seifer yelled at him. The SeeD barely heard him 

__

He called me Zell two times… he thought, standing up 

"Get your ass in gear, Chicken Wuss!!" Seifer exclaimed "I need magic back-up!!" 

"What?? You want to fight four Red Dragons??!!" 

"We don't have many choices, besides we can't go back without saving those missing people, first!!" 

"I agree with Almasy, Squad leader!!" Crys said, drawing her sword 

"Hey!! That sword is pretty huge, red-tip!!" Seifer exclaimed "Are you sure you can use it??" 

"Look and smile, Almasy!!" She said, launching herself toward one of the Dragons. 

The monster saw her and moved its claw toward her at incredible speed, but the girl had expected its attack and she jumped high in air 

"YAAHHII!!" She cried, bringing her sword over her head and then hitting the Dragon with it. 

Zell was about to congratulate her, when she saw the other Dragons coming closer 

"They're arriving!!" he exclaimed "Keep ready!!" 

They took their fighting stances: Seifer with his gunblade in front of him, Zell with his guard up and Crys with her long, two-handed sword in a pose that resembled Squall's. 

"It's raining, they won't use their fire attacks!!" Zell said 

"Yes, but they have still their strength and their speed… plus we can't see a damn thing with this fucking rain, and we're slower and heavier!!" Seifer replied 

"Try and be more optimist, would you?" Crys asked him 

"I'm neither optimist, nor pessimist… just pragmatic." the taller man replied, attacking the nearest Dragon. 

He barely sliced his skin but the monster counter him with a powerful blow that sent him flying past Zell and Crys 

"We need GFs!!!" Zell exclaimed "I have Shiva!!" Crys informed them 

"But I need someone for back-up!!" 

"I'll do it!!" Zell offered "Seifer, keep them occupied!!" 

"Me?" 

"You wanted to fight, didn't you?? Then fight!!" Zell yelled 

"No need for begs, Chicken!!" he answered, running toward the Dragons 

"I'm not a chicken!!" Zell replied, casting Protect on Crys, while she was summoning the GF 

"Get the hell away from there!!" Crys yelled at Seifer. 

The taller boy got out of the way and Crys summoned Shiva that froze the three Red Dragons. 

"Huff!!" Zell panted "Good job, Crys!!" 

"Thanks, Squad leader!!" 

"How old are you?" Seifer asked 

"16, Almasy… Why?" 

"You're too good with your weapon and magic, almost like me and the Chicken… You didn't piss in your pants when those bastards attacked us, either… any other SeeD recruits would have done so… What kind of training did you do?" 

"Normal training." she replied, quickly. 

Seifer could not see her very well, due the rain, but he could tell that she was lying. 

"Hey!! Earth to Seifer and Crys!!" Zell yelled 

"What??!" 

"We have to find those people!!" Zell exclaimed "The last track was toward North." Seifer said 

"Good, let's go!!" Zell exclaimed, starting to walk. 

None of them saw that the Red Dragon that Crys had hit wasn't dead, but was regaining consciousness, until it launched itself toward Zell 

"Chicken Wuss!! Watch out!!" 

"Squad leader!!" Zell turned around and the Dragon sank his claws in his chest 

"Ultima!!" Seifer cast the spell on the Dragon that fell to the ground. 

"How are ya, Chicken?" Seifer hurried at his side, followed closely by Crys. 

The cuts were deep and he was loosing a great amount of blood. Seifer took off Zell's jacket and used it as bandage 

"Hey, he'll catch a cold!!" Crys exclaimed, Seifer didn't answer and took off his coat, too. He covered Zell with it 

"We must bring him where I can take a look at his wounds." "There's a cavern near her." Crys said, pointing in the dark 

"How do you know?" 

"I know. Come with me." 

Seifer took Zell and followed the blood-haired girl. Actually there was a cavern and Seifer laid Zell on the ground 

"Damn, I haven't any elixir!!" he exclaimed 

"I've some cure spells, but they aren't very powerful." Crys said "Use them." "

Hey, you're shaking…" Crys observed 

"I'm just a little cold." he replied "Go on." 

Without his coat he wore only a sleeveless, blue shirt and he was all wet, now. Crys cast the spells but they didn't do much. 

"Uh… Shit…" Zell muttered 

"What do we do now, Squad leader?" Crys asked him 

"What? Oh, yeah…" Zell tried to sit up, but he gave up when burning pain shot in his chest 

"What's the situation?" 

"Three Dragons frozen, one dead, you're wounded, the Human-Tracer doesn't signal a fucking shit…" 

"And Almasy wants to catch a pneumonia." 

"What?!" 

Only then Zell realized that Seifer's coat was wrapped tightly around him; he was about to protest when the Red Dragon that Seifer had hit with his Ultima spell started to enter the cavern "Shit!!" Seifer cursed. 

Fortunately the huge monster remained stuck. The Dragon began to shook and stones and debris began to fall from the ceiling "Let's get out of here!!" Seifer yelled 

"But the entrance is blocked!!" Zell exclaimed 

"There's another exit at the end of this tunnel!!" Crys said. 

The tattooed-boy nodded and stood up, supported by Crys. Seifer began to wonder how she could know all those things about the Island Closest to the Hell but he chose to keep his mouth shut. After a moment they were again in the rain and Seifer shivered due the cold 

"Now what?" Crys asked to no one in particular. 

__

Right… Now what?? Zell repeated to himself Shit, we should get back and save those people… but I can't fight and I'd be only a dead-weight to Seifer and Crys… What should I do? With this rain, to… Shit! It's difficult to be a leader. Poor Squall, now I understand him… It had to be hard for him with all those resp… 

"CHICKEN WUSS!!" Seifer yelled 

"Ah! What is it?!" 

"It's the fourth time I call you!!" 

"What are the instructions?" Crys asked 

"I… I… don't know…" Zell whispered 

"What??! I can't hear you!!" Seifer exclaimed 

"I don't know!!" the tattooed-boy yelled "Hell!! I don't know what to do!!! This was meant to be a simple exam and now… now…" his voice trailed off. He hid his face in his hands and started to sob. Someone hugged him and stroked his hair 

"C'mon… It's okay…" Zell's eyes shot open 

"S-Seifer?" 

"Come on, Chicken Wuss. I know it's difficult, but you're the squad leader, right?" Zell didn't answer

"Chicken Wuss?? hey, Chicken!!" 

"He's unconscious…" Crys said. 

Something behind them growled 

"Oh no!!" Crys exclaimed "This is getting ridiculous!! That thing doesn't die!!!" 

"Take the Chicken back to the ship, I'll try to distract the fucking dragon!!" Seifer yelled, grabbing his gunblade. 

The flame-haired girl nodded; she took Zell in her arms and ran away. 

"D squad, can you hear me??" Seifer's radio buzzed "Here is Seifer from D squad…" he replied 

"D squad you can come back to the ship, all the missing people are found." 

"Roger." he turned and started to run. 

Crys received the same message and went back to the ship, too.

"How are the missing people?" Squall asked 

"They're a little upset, but no one is wounded…" 

"What happened?" 

"A group of soldier attacked us…" one of them explained "They were wearing strange uniforms…" 

"Strange??" 

"Yes, like this…" he grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and draw a body with a clinging black uniform 

"And they had this device…" he added, drawing an eagle with a rose in its beak. 

"Hmmm… Never seen anything like this… And you Quistis??" the blonde SeeD looked at the draw 

"No… Be sure to report to headmaster later." she replied 

"Hey!! Crys is back!! And she has someone in her arms!!" 

"Who?" 

"It's a blond boy with a gray coat!!" 

"Seifer??" Squall said "Where's Zell then??" 

"Please!!" Crys yelled "Someone help me!! The instructor is injured!!" 

"Instructor?? You mean Zell!!" Selphie exclaimed 

"Yeah." Crys replied, lying the short boy on the ground 

"Do you have any cure spells?" She asked 

"Yes…" Quistis said, casting a curaga on Zell. His wounds healed totally. 

"Where's Seifer??!" Squall asked 

"I don't know. Last time I've seen him he was fighting a Red Dragon!!" Crys answered. 

They fell silent for a moment then the one who spoke was Squall 

"Oh, shit." he said. 

Seifer stood up from the pool of mud he had fallen into. He passed an hand over his eyes to clear his vision. 

__

Okay, Almasy… Let's see… You have a Red Dragon that wants to have you for lunch, you don't have the slightest idea wherein the hell you are and you're all muddy… Well, man… You're going to die. He sat in the pool of mud _How in the hell am I supposed to go back??_

Then an idea stuck him. He turned on the Human-Tracer and started to run as fast as he can. Behind him he could hear the heavy steps of the monster.

__

Why the damn thing hasn't given up, yet??!! he wondered. 

A 'BEEP-BEEP' drew his attention: the Human-Tracer was signaling a group of seventeen persons to his right. He was distant less than twenty meters so he cast a fire spell to cast the attention of whoever was in front of him.

"Hey!!" a girl exclaimed "What was that??!" 

"It looked like a fire spell!!" Selphie said 

"It's Seifer!!" 

Indeed a man appeared from the rain 

"Yes!! It's him!!" Selphie cast another fire spell 

"Oh, shit." Squall whispered 

"What?" 

"Behind him." 

Zell looked behind the muddy-man and his eyes widened in horror "SEIFER!!!" he yelled "WATCH OUT!! BEHIND YOU!!" 

Seifer turned and the dragon charged at him. It all happened fast: the beast hit Seifer squarely in the chest and sent him flying backwards. He crashed on the side of the ship and fell in the mud again. This time he didn't stand up. 

"Seifer!!" Squall yelled, reaching him. 

The dragon was about to charge again, this time at Squall, but Selphie and Quistis hit it with two Ultima spells, killing it. Squall dragged the unconscious Seifer on the ship and it left the Island Closest to the Hell. 

"Seifer, are you okay?" Selphie asked him. 

The blond, tall man coughed and spit out a mixture of blood and mud 

"Y-Yeah… I'm only a little cold…" he coughed again and Selphie wrapped him in a blanket, Seifer cleaned himself up a bit 

"Zell told us the whole story…" Selphie whispered in his ear "I'm proud of you…" 

"Good job, Seifer…" Zell added 

"Yeah, whatever… Now let me sleep…" he replied, closing his eyes and leaning on the wall. 

Comments: I got the inspiration of this chapter from 'The bully and his victim' (you can find it here: [http://www.geocities.com/littlemaiko/library/bullyvictim.html][1])

by Littlemaiko… In that story Seifer tried again the SeeD exam and he and Seifer went to Island Closest to Hell… As you can see this parts are the same, but I promise that from now on the story will be different… _very_ different… Oh, and keep in mind this chapter… it will became very, very important later….

See ya!! Send me your comments at forbidden_angelus@yahoo.com!!!

   [1]: http://www.geocities.com/littlemaiko/library/bullyvictim.html



	3. Something's moving...

Seifer curled up in a ball

Seifer curled up in a ball. He had a bad fever, a very bad fever due the SeeD exam he'd taken the day before. It was 5.30 p.m. and he was in the bed since that morning. He sighed. His head was burning and all his movements were slowed by the illness. His head felt like it was flowing in the water. He wanted to sleep but he just couldn't: he was afraid he'd dreamt of _her_, of Ultimecia. 

The Sorceress that had taken him under her control was now dead, but he could still feel her voice and the way she tortured him and… 

__

Seifer, Seifer… he admonished himself _Don't fall on that again! She's dead… DEAD! Fucking D.E.A.D. !!!! Squall told you, Quistis told you, Fujin and Raijin told you!!! Damn even Selphie told you!!_ He sighed _Yeah, sure… Real Evil doesn't die… It just disappear for a while… Rinoa is a Sorceress, Edea is a Sorceress… What if another Evil Sorceress would come out of nowhere… What if she would take me under her… her paws? I know I won't be able to heal if that should happen…_

Someone knocked at the door, breaking his thoughts. Seifer was grateful to whomever interrupted his private conversation 

"Come in." He said. 

The door opened and Zell came in. 

"Hi Seifer!!" 

"Chicken Wuss…" Seifer whispered almost affectionately. 

Zell didn't make any comment on the nickname 

"You look like shit, Seifer." Zell stated 

"I know." Seifer said, trying to sit up straight on the bed 

"How are you, anyway?" he asked the smaller man 

"Oh, the wounds are almost close…" the young warrior said, waving a hand "…thanks to you." he added 

"You're welcome…" Seifer coughed 

"Bad fever, neh?" the scarred-youth only nodded and he broke in a fit of coughing 

"Hey, Seifer calm down!!" Zell exclaimed, bolting up and reaching his side. 

Amongst his coughing he pointing at something on his bed table. Zell turned and spotted a glass of water. Hastily he gave it to the older boy who drank it. 

"Better?" Zell asked after he'd drank enough water. Seifer nodded 

"Good because I have something to tell you!" 

Seifer frowned and looked at him 

"Seifer Almasy, you're officially a SeeD from now on!!" 

Seifer stared at him in disbelief and his jaw dropped. He was still for a very long time 

"I know that I'm the most handsome and hottest guy around but you don't have to look at me like that, ya know!!" Zell exclaimed, wearing a broad smile 

"You stupid!!" Seifer exclaimed, trying to hit him with his pillow, but smiling anyway "You are so full of yourself!!" 

"Look who's talking!! Mr. Is-There-Something-More-Important-Than-My-Ego-Around?!!"

When Crys got in the room they were laughing heartily 

"Why are you two laughing your asses out?" she asked "Nothing…" Zell managed to say amongst his laughter 

"Anyway, Zell… Squall wants to see you…" 

"'K, I'm goin'…" he said, getting up 

"Bye Seifer!" 

"Bye Zell!" 

"Oh congratulations, Seifer!" Crys exclaimed when Zell was out of the room 

"Thanks… did you do it?" 

"Yes, of course! I'm the best 'round here!!" she said "I've gotta go…" 

"See ya around, Red-Tip!" 

"Look, if you're goin' to call me Red-Tip I'll call you Scarred-One, okay?" 

"Clear, Red-Tip!" 

"Bye, Scarred-One!!" 

The door closed behind her, and Seifer was alone.

Again.

Zell sprinted towards Cid's office, where, he supposed, he'd have found Squall. 

"Yo, Squall!" He exclaimed, entering the room "Wanna tell me something?" 

"Actually I have to tell you all something." he said, pointing at the others persons in the room: Selphie, Quistis, Irvine and Nida. "So?" 

"Ahem… You know that since when we've beaten the Sorceress lots of new recruits come to the Garden…" 

"Yes." Quistis said 

"Well, there's no enough space, so all the students have to share their rooms… recruits with recruits… cadets with cadets… and SeeDs with SeeDs…" he paused a second to look at his friends 

"I have the list of the mates you're going to share your room with… In four hours all the moves must be done, got it?" They all nodded 

"Good, then… Selphie you'll be with Irvine, Quistis you're sharing with Crys, I and Kenneth will be together. Nida and Evan and Seifer and Zell. Okay?" 

"WHAAT!! Me??! With that… that egomaniac??!! You've read the wrong list, that's it!!" 

"No, you ARE sharing with Seifer…" 

"Owww…That's not fair!" Zell groaned 

"Look at the bright side you can beat his ass whenever you want!" Selphie exclaimed 

"Look who's talking! You two are probably going to fuck every-" "Please stop." Squall said hastily "Remember, you have to move in four hours. Dismissed!"

Zell went slowly back to Seifer's quarters to grab the boy and went to his room. He entered and slammed the door behind him "Haven't your mom taught you good manners? Such as knocking before entering a room that's not yours?" Seifer said 

"Fuck off, Seifer!" Zell exclaimed 

"Whoa! Whoa! Cool down!" 

"Get your things, we're movin' at my place." Seifer blinked at him "I think I don't understand what you've just said." 

"You ARE moving at my place, 'cuz there's a recruits invasion and there isn't enough room for them, so all the students of the Garden have to share their rooms with other students! Gotcha?" Seifer nodded 

"But… It wasn't simpler for you to move in MY room?" "No, 'cause mine is bigger!" 

"Bigger? Why a short-ass like you has a bigger room than me?" "I pretend not to have heard." Zell hissed through clenched teeth "Now get your sorry ass out of that bed and start pack you stuff!" "Ooohhh… An angry Chicken Wuss… Now I'm scared!" Seifer laughed. Zell's fists were trembling at his sides, the he inhaled slowly and calmed down 

"Look Seifer…" he said seriously "…I'm trying hard to be kind with you, don't ask me why, because I don't even know it… Maybe because you saved my life." He paused 

"We're going to live in the same room for a long amount of time and I don't want to kill you or be killed by you… or go mad, either… So let's try to be a little tolerant to each other, okay?" _Hey, I actually made a sense now!! _Zell thought. Seifer looked stunned at him then smiled, a real, sad smile_ What was that? Very un-Seiferish!!_

"Okay." the scarred blonde said, getting up and starting to wear his pants.

__

Three hours later…

Zell kicked the box he'd just emptied 

"Huff! That was the last one." he announced to Seifer, who was putting his clothes in the closet. 

"Good… I'm almost done here." 

"Wanna somethin' to drink?" Zell asked 

"Yeah… A glass of water, please." 

Zell headed to the kitchenette. He took a beer for himself and a glass of water for his roommate. He frowned when he saw Seifer sitting on his bed, massaging his temples 

"Are you alright?" 

"Just a little headache…" the other said 

"Oh shit! I forget 'bout the fever!!" Zell exclaimed 

"Lay on the bed and rest, I'll finish the work here." 

"Okay, thanks." 

"You're welcome." 

Seifer laid on his bed and closed his eyes, the dizziness that he'd felt a moment before began to disappear. 

"Oh! The SeeD ball is tomorrow night… I brought you your uniform…" Zell said, showing him the SeeD suit 

"Hey… I'm actually a SeeD! I must be dreaming! Someone please pinch me!" Seifer exclaimed. 

Zell went to him and did exactly what he'd asked for. 

"Ow!! What's with you, Chiken-Wuss??!!" 

"You asked me to do it!" Zell replied, innocently 

"Yeah… Whatever…" 

"Oh no! Now you sound just like Squall!!" Zell exclaimed "Really??" 

"Really." "Oh my God!!! Kick me, hurry!!" Seifer exclaimed, then added after a moment "I was kidding of course." 

"I didn't do anything." Zell declared, lifting his arms. 

Seifer eyed him suspiciously 

"You were about to…" 

"Then? I didn't do anything…" he repeated "'Sides it was you who asked me to do it…" they glared at each other, sending them glares of death. Then they both burst out in laughter.

"I'm going to buy something at the cafeteria… the fridge is empty… Do you want something in particular?" Zell asked Seifer, after they had managed somehow to stop the laughing 

"I'm not really hungry at this moment… besides I can eat everything that resemble food." Seifer answered 

"Okay, I'll be back in a moment!!" 

"That makes 23 guil." Zell handed the girl the money and grabbed the food he'd bought: three hot dogs, spaghetti and some slices of pizza. 

He didn't need any drink, because he had the fridge full of beers. He started to go back to his room that was also Seifer's now. 

__

Mmm… Seifer was… different when I was talking with him… Is it because of the fever or… he really has_ changed?_

"It's a shame that Headmaster Cid let him made SeeD…" someone said near him. 

He turned his head towards the male voice and wasn't surprise when he saw Kenneth who was talking with his two fellows, Evan and Mik, while his girlfriend (a little bitch with blonde long hair), Shelly, was glued to his right arm nodding at every word he was saying _No wonder she didn't made SeeD..._ Zell thought _But Kenneth… How could he make SeeD? He's worse than Seifer when he was a pain in the ass!!_

"I agree with you, Ken…" Mik said "But Cid said that he saved Zell's life…" 

"He did that on purpose! He's a traitor!" Kenneth exclaimed. 

Zell tightened his grip on the pack of food he was carrying. 

__

You little bastards!! If you continue to insult him I'll… he blinked. When did he started to care if someone insulted Seifer? _That's why he's not here and he can't defend himself_ he answered himself, not too sure. 

He made the way back thinking about what he had thought and when he reached the room Seifer was sleeping. _He's like a little kid when he's sleeping… So… vulnerable… God! If he had heard me on that he'd probably kill me!!_

Trying to make as less noise as he could he put the food in the fridge and went to bed himself.


	4. Loning for your smile

CHAPTER 4

"Damn…" Seifer muttered 

"What are you doin', Seifer?" Zell asked, entering the room.

It was Sunday, Seifer's fever was slowly disappeared and now the scarred blonde was sitting at the table in their room, reading a book 

"Studying…" 

"Really? I'll ask you somethin'!!" the hyperactive blonde exclaimed, sitting on his bed 

"So who did command the Galbadian troops in the Sorcerss War?" 

"Me, of course!" 

"The _other_ Sorceress War!" Zell exclaimed 

"Mmm…" The door burst open 

"Guys!!" 

"Crys!" Zell exclaimed "Have you ever heard of knocking?" "Dunno… Maybe when I was a little child and my mom taught me good manners…" Crys said, then she sighed "My poor attempt to sarcasm has failed…" 

"What do you want?" 

"Cid wants you, Scarred-one!!" 

"What have I done, now?" 

"Nothing! He wants to assign you a mission!!" 

"A mission? Your first SeeD mission!!" Zell exclaimed 

"Yeah…" 

"I'll wait here, go!" Zell exclaimed. 

Seifer knocked on Cid's office door 

"Come in." headmaster's voice came. He entered. 

"Good morning Seifer, I hope your fever's gone." Cid said 

"Yes." 

"Good, because tomorrow morning you'll be sent to the Island Closest to Hell to investigate." 

"Investigate?" Seifer frowned 

"Yes, but I'll tell you more details when Squall and Kenneth will be here." 

__

Kenneth?? That son of a bitch that insult me?? He'll be with me in this mission? Oh, shit!! 

Although he hated him he managed to remain calm and he promised to himself to maintain his control during the mission, too. The door opened and Squall and Kenneth came in. 

"Hey, traitor." Kenneth whispered in Seifer's hear, the tall blonde acted as if he hadn't heard. 

"Well, in Zell's report there were a few things quite… how can I say… disturbing…" Cid cleared his voice "He said that before the attack from the Red Dragons the Human-Tracer signaled a group of people that disappeared after a few seconds. Then he told me about the Red Dragons, they were moving in a pack and they were more resistant, faster and stronger than any normal Red Dragon…" he stopped to look at the three boys in front of him "You have to take a sample of blood from the monsters in that area and take back a Red Dragon, dead of course, in the meanwhile take a look around. Squall will be the Squad leader and the other members _must_ follow his orders. Is it clear?" Squall and Seifer nodded, but Kenneth raised his hand 

"Yes, Kenneth?" 

"Why is Seifer in our party? He's useless!" 

Seifer tensed and clenched his fists, Squall looked at him a bit worried. the scarred blonde inhaled slowly then turned toward Kenneth before Cid could reply. 

"Maybe I'm a useless as you said, but at least I don't complain about my squad-mates…" he said, bitterly, before he left. "Dismissed." Cid added. 

Before returning to his business Squall watched for a long time the way Seifer had disappeared with a frown on his face. 

Seifer entered his room and closed hastily the door. He took his clothes off and went in the shower trying to cancel the previous talk with Kenneth, but his words had stuck in his head

__

UselessUselessUselessUselessUselessUselessUselessUselessUselessUselessUseless…. Silent tears began slowly to descend from his eyes.

"Munch… Finally… Munch… I got some… Munch… hot dogs… Munch…" Zell exclaimed, sitting at a table in the Cafeteria "Bleah!! I think I've lost my appetite for the next five hundred years!!! Behave!!" Crys exclaimed, disgusted 

"Did I do something wrong??" asked the tattooed-boy, innocently "Never mind…" she replied "So… Do you have a girlfriend?" 

Zell choked and sputtered "W-What?!!" 

"H-Hey!! Calm down! I've asked only a question!! I'm not hitting at you!!" she said 

"I d-didn't mean like it sounded… It was that I didn't expect that answer…" 

"So, I _can_ hit at you?" she said with a broad smile 

"Yes… No… er… AARGGH!!" he threw his arms up 

"Ah! Ah!" Crys laughed "Don't worry, just kidding!! I'm not hitting on you, you're a good and sincere friend, Zell!" Zell blushed 

"Er… thanks, I guess…" 

"So, do you have a girlfriend?" 

"I had, she left me…" 

"Why?" 

"She met a higher guy, more beautiful and less annoying than me…" 

"Oh. But you're great being a man!!" Crys exclaimed "Girls are better of course, but you're cool, though!!" 

Zell remained silent, so Crys took the chance to continue 

"And about the others?" 

"Who?" 

"Squall, Selphie, Quistis, Seifer, Irvine and that girl with blue clothes…" 

"Well… Squall is the cold and fearless leader… he got less cold recently, thanks to Rinoa. Sometimes that girl acts very strange, but she's okay…" 

"Rinoa?" 

"Yes, that girl in blue." 

"Oh…" 

"Then there's Selphie… she's crazy, I'm sure about this…" 

Crys chuckled .

"And her playboy boyfriend has a heart of gold in the depth of that chest of his…" 

"They are perfect together!!" 

"Yes, I think so, too. Then… Quistis she's very responsible for her age…" 

"I like her, a lot… She's beautiful, intelligent, smart, skilled… I really like her!!" Crys exclaimed. 

Zell arched a eyebrow 

"What??" Crys exclaimed "I'm gay, homosexual, pervert… whatever you like… You have a problem with that?" 

"N-No… It's that… Never mind, let's go on… who's left??" "Seifer." 

"Yeah, Seifer… He was a pain in the ass…" 

"Like Kenneth?" 

"No, thank God, he wasn't like _him_!!" he sighed "He used to make fun of whomever crossed his path, except for his posse. I was his favorite and he called me Chicken Wuss and irritated me every time he could, a real bully… After the whole Ultimecia mess he's just… changed… He's closed in himself and he doesn't make fun of anyone, he even calls me Chicken Wuss with… affection…" "Usually who acts as a bully has a fragile psyche and is afraid to make friends for the fear of loosing them…" 

"You think?" 

"Yes… I've read it somewhere…" 

"So he acted as a pest because he needed someone who cared?" "Yes, maybe that's why he joined the Sorceress… he saw the old Matron and he saw motherly love that was took away from him when he was only a little child…" 

"Whoa!! Who said to you all those things?" 

"Quistis!" 

"Hey, you're serious 'bout her, aren't you?!" 

"I'm workin' on it…" she answered with a smile 

"If you need my help I'll be here, remember!" Zell told her 

"I know, thanks…" she kissed him on the cheek "You're my best friend!!" 

Zell blushed again and Crys started to laugh, then she suddenly became serious. 

"Seifer needs someone who cares." She said, before going away. Zell sighed and finished eating.

He opened the door and wondered why the room was dark, while outside the sun was shining. He went to the window and started to open the curtains 

"No, don't…" a voice said. 

Zell almost jumped 

"Seifer! Damn you! You gave me a heart-attack!!" he exclaimed "Sorry…" came the reply 

"Is there something wrong?" Zell asked, getting near to the place where he thought Seifer was. 

"No…" 

"Oh, yes there's…" 

"If you're so sure, why you asked?" 

"So what's wrong…" 

Seifer muttered something under his breath 

"What? I couldn't hear you!" 

"I said I am useless!!" Seifer exclaimed, his voice cracked 

__

He's crying, that's why he doesn't want me to open the curtains… "You're not…" 

"Yes, I am." 

Zell finally got to his side "Listen Seifer, don't cry, please… there's surely someone who's longing for your smile somewhere…" 

"And who would that be?" 

"Your lover…" 

"I don't have a lover…" 

"Your friends…" 

"I have no friends…" 

"Yes you have! You have Squall, Rinoa, Quistis…" 

"They're acquaintances of mine, only that… I have no one…" "And Fujin? And Raijin?" 

"They're a couple… They don't need me…" 

__

When an idea sticks in his mind he's worse than me!! Zell thought. 

"You have me… I'm a friend of yours, you know…" the tattooed-boy said softly. 

Even if he couldn't see him, he sensed that Seifer was looking at him 

"So if you need a shoulder to cry on… I'm here…" Silence "Thanks but… I don't have to cry, because there's someone in the world who's longing for my smile, right?" 

Zell smiled. Seifer seemed so innocent, so helpless, so… young… "Right." 

"Thanks Zell…" 

"You're welcome… Now, can I open the curtains?" 

"No." 

"Why? You aren't crying, are you?" Zell frowned. 

Then Seifer's head was on his shoulder, Zell tensed a bit, not expecting the other's blonde move but didn't make any move to get away 

"I'd like to remain like this for a moment, please?" he pleaded "Okay…" 

__

Mmm… He smells good… he's just had a shower… This is that shampoo of his… so good… 

"You smell good…" Zell said, then added "My God, it sounded like I was going to eat you…" 

"If that was meant to make me laugh… It didn't work…" Seifer informed him 

"I know… It was a poor, sick little joke…" 

"Just like you…" "Hey!" 

"Jus' kidding!!" 

They remained still for a long time, then Zell started to move "Get up now, we've to get the equipment for tomorrow!" he offered a hand to Seifer who took it and got to his feet 

"_We?_" 

"Yes, we. You're a young and inexperienced SeeD, after all!" "You…! You…! Chicken Wuss!!" 

Zell started to laugh and soon Seifer joined him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

They got on the shore. The weather was good, not like the last time they've been there. 

"Let's kill that damn Red Dragon and go home!" Seifer exclaimed "I don't like this Island…" 

"Don't piss in your pants, Almasy." Kenneth said, Seifer ignored him 

"Don't pay attention to him." Squall whispered to Seifer "If you get angry and hurt him, you're fucked…" 

"I know." 

Seifer really appreciated the way Squall seemed to care for him. _Maybe Zell is right… Maybe they're not only acquaintances, maybe they're friends…_

He decided to carry on the conversation 

"So, how are the things with Rinoa?" Squall looked at him with a curios expression 

"Fine. And you?" 

"Better than before…" 

"You haven't killed each other, yet…" 

"What?" 

"You and Zell…" 

"Oh yeah… Yes, we're growing… friends, I guess…" 

"Good, he was a little down after the break-up…" Squall said "Break-up?" 

"His girlfriend left him…" 

"That girl with the ponytails?" Squall nodded 

"Yes, her… she left him for a Galbadian guy…" 

"The little slut…" then Seifer looked at Squall and laughed softly "What are you laughing at?" the auburn-haired leader asked 

"I've never thought you were the type for gossips…" 

To Seifer's satisfaction Squall blushed a little and turned his head in the other direction. 

"Okay, Almasy, Do you remember where you tracked those people down?" Kenneth asked 

"No… It was raining hard if I remember well…" he answered sarcastically 

"Then? A SeeD must pay attention to everything." the brown-haired SeeD replied 

"I wasn't a SeeD at the time." Seifer said, shutting Kenenth. 

"Ok, Seifer…" Squall turned towards him "…Where did you, Zell and Crys spot those men?" 

"I think we were 'round here… Considering the speed we were moving and time we spent walking… Yes, I think we were right here…" 

Seifer answered, looking around him. When his eyes met Kenneth's, the boy looked like he was about to kill him. Seifer smirked at him. 

"…And we spotted four men toward North, thirty meters of distance." 

"So we've got to head straight…" Squall concluded "Let's go!"

__

Hey, Squall's changed… Seifer thought_ I guess Rinoa is the responsible… Maybe they're meant for each other… Lucky them… I'll never find who's 'longing for my smile'…_

He smiled thinking at what his friend Zell had told him. Friend Zell. Sure, he wanted to be more than 'friends' but… this a was a beginning, wasn't it?. He lifted his eyes to the sky

__

Zell…

He sighed. That place made him shivered. There was something disturbing about it, something he couldn't get. Something about the Red Dragons…

__

Okay, let's see… they were moving in a pack and normal Red Dragons do not_ do that… they were stronger, faster, smarter than other Red Dragons and that one didn't one didn't want to die… Only when Quistis and Selphie had hit it with…_

Then it hit him like a bolt strike, sudden and violent 

"On the shore!" he exclaimed 

"What?" Squall looked at him, arching his eyebrows 

"On the shore! That Red Dragon that Selphie and Quistis killed on the shore!" 

"Yes?" 

"We haven't seen its carcass when we landed on the same shore…" Seifer explained. 

Squall understood what Seifer was saying 

"Maybe the Red Dragon was still alive…" 

"Or maybe someone dragged it away…" Seifer said 

"But who? And why?" 

"The soldiers that attacked the missing people…" Squall hypothesized 

"So we're back to the group of people we saw that day…" Seifer sighed 

"Hey, while you were chatting I found this…" Kenneth said, handing something to Squall who took it and examined it closely, he frowned 

"It's a piece of black cloth… The uniforms of those soldiers were black…" 

"Maybe…" Seifer began, but was cut off by a GRRROOOWWWLLLLL.

They turned toward the sound and found themselves facing and angry Red Dragon 

"Hey, we were looking for it, but the bastard found us, instead!!" Kenneth exclaimed 

"Let's kill it, but don't do something stupid like summoning Eden, we need its body to be intact." Squall warned them. 

Seifer nodded 

"No problem, Squad leader!!" Kenneth said, tightening his grip on the daggers he used as weapons "Let's start with something like this!!" 

He cast an ice spell and attacked the monster a moment after. Squall attacked the Red Dragon, too. But when it was Seifer's turn, Kenneth shoved him out of the way 

"Get out of my way, you looser." 

Seifer felt the anger built inside of him. 

__

I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him, I'm going to… then he suddenly froze _That must be what Zell and the others was feeling when I was making fun of them… But I've never thought… I knew that I shouldn't have done that but I've never guessed…_

He sat there, on the ground. He could hear a voice, a distant voice, calling his name, telling him something he couldn't understand. _  
Bastard. Useless. Traitor. Looser. Good for nothing. It's that who I am? Or… No!! I'm not none of them!! Zell told me!!! He was Seifer!! No bastard. No useless. No traitor. No looser. No good for nothing. Seifer. Just Seifer. Only Seifer!!!_

"Seifer!! Get out of the way!!" Squall yelled, while the Red Dragon was charging at the blonde boy seated on the ground "NO!!" Suddenly Seifer was on his feet and yelled something like 'IWWHNEW!!!' and the most powerful ice spell Squall had ever seen in his life hit the Dragon, killing it. 

"Hey, good job Seifer!" Squall congratulated him, rally impressed. Then he frowned: he was panting and looking like he didn't know what had just happened. 

"Are you okay, Seifer?" the taller man just looked at Kenneth then turned to leave.


	5. Revelations

"So how did the mission go

"So how did the mission go?" Zell asked him

"I don't want to talk about it… " Seifer replied.

It was one o'clock and time for lunch, they were at the Cafeteria. It was the day after Seifer's mission. 

"Kenneth did the bastard?"

"He's always doing the bastard."

"I have to agree with you, but what I meant was…"

"I know what you meant, but this has nothing to do with Kenneth…"

"So, what is it?" 

Seifer sighed.

"I was on the ground, because Kenneth pulled me and I was thinking that maybe I was all the things he and everyone else call me… But then… I don't know… A unbearable rage built up in my body… Suddenly I found my body acting like someone else was taking control of it and I was miles away… Then I hit that monster with a powerful ice spell that I've never seen…"

"Wow! Then?" 

"Then what?" 

"What happened next?" 

"Nothing, I just walked back to the ship." he said

"Mpfh…" 

Zell eat another hot dog

"You know, I've always wondered where do all the hot dogs you eat go…" 

"Dunno, either…"

"And what's that… that… _thing_… that's about to stand and walk on itself??"

"Dunno, but I like it…"

"Zell…" Seifer said, turning his head

"Have you noticed?" 

"What?"

"You're calling me Zell instead of Chicken Wuss…"  
Seifer blushed a little, praying God that Zell'd not see it

"Well… I… er…" he stammered "Jus' thinkin' that you would prefer that…"

"Oh, hey… Thanks…" he smiled

"GUUYSS!!" 

Crys ran toward their table and sat down

"Do not run in the Garden…" Seifer said

"You're like my mom!" Crys said.

Zell chuckled and Seifer gave him the glare of death.

"What brings you here, red-tip??"

"I asked Quistis out!!" she exclaimed excited

Seifer's jaw reached the table surface, while Zell greeted Crys

"So you've finally did it!!" 

"Yes, I'm so happy!!"

"Where are you going?"

"In Balamb there's a little romantic restaurant, it's called 'The 7th Heaven!!'"

"Yes, I know it, it's perfect!! So when are you going?" 

"Tomorrow evening, so I was hoping that you guys would help me finding a good dress in Balamb!!!"

"We ain't exactly expert in those things!!!"

"Yes… But you have just to say which dress suits me and which not… So? You'll come?"

"W-Wait a moment!!" Seifer exclaimed

"Yes, Seifer?"

"You… You are going on a date with _Quistis_??!!!!!"

"Yes, what's wrong?"

"You mean you like her, I mean you like her like a… like a…"  
"Yes, lover…"

"Never thought you were homosexual…"

"Now you know, happy?"

"Yes."

"Good, so?"  
"Yes, we'll help you…" Seifer assured her.

"Good… See ya later, then!!"

They watched her leave, then Zell turned to Seifer.  
"You seemed a little upset about Crys…"

"Yes, I guess… I have always thought the only one who was gay 'round here, was-" he stopped

"Was, who?"

"Nothing …"

"C'mon!!"

"I… I can't tell you…"

Zell eyed Seifer suspiciously and went back eating.

"Can you please tell me his or her initials??? Please?"

"No."

"Please, please??"  
"I said no."  
"Pretty please?"  
"No!"

"Pretty please with puppy eyes?"

Seifer laughed 

"Okay, you won!!"

"Yay!!  
"His initials are A.S."

"So he's a guy, mmmhh…"

"Yes, happy now?"

"Yeah, thank you!!"

Zell got up and raced out of the Cafeteria, muttering 'I'm going to find who is him!!'

Seifer shook his head and finished his food.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zell hadn't come back, yet. So Seifer was able to remain alone in their room without _distractions_. 

He sat on his bed and sighed.

__

My Knight…

Seifer's eyes widened and he got up from the bed, looking around him. 

"Who… Who are you?" 

__

Don't you recognize me, my Knight?

"N…No… If this is a joke it isn't funny…"

His voice trembled and he bit his lower lip for his weakness.

__

I'm real, I'm here… Come to me, my Knight…

"You're not real… This isn't happening…"  
He slowly backend towards the door. He tripped and let out a strangled cry.

"Go away, please!!!" he screamed.

__

Is this the way to thank me? I saved your life…

"No! You made my life miserable!!"

__

Back at Island Closest to the Hell… Who do you think has cast that powerful Ice Spell?? You??

Seifer got to his feet and ran to the door. He tripped for the second time and he slammed hard against the closed door. He tried to open it then he remembered that he needed the electronic key to do so. He left his on the bed.

__

Lose something, my Knight?

Seifer heard a laughter in his head, a creeping laughter like…

__

NO!! This isn't real!! I'm not hearing…her_ voice… she's dead, DEAD!!! It's just a little sick bad joke… _

Oh, but it isn't a joke, my Knight. You're…

The door opened suddenly, the voice disappeared and Seifer fell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So it was a guy… a guy with the A.S. initials…

__

Andy Sunders? No… he isn't surely gay, he's fucked almost every girl in the Garden…

Andrew Sykes? Don't know… but he seems to be madly in love with Shu, who on the other side doesn't even know he exist…

Zell sighed in frustration. 

__

Damn Seifer! Why couldn't he just give me the boy's name??! 

The young fighter headed for his room to grab his fighting gloves, he wanted to train a little.

He inserted the card and he entered the code. The door swung open and something,_ someone_, fell on him, knocking the wind out of him.   
"Whaff!!"

STONK!!  
"Ow… My head… that hurt…" Zell moaned, massaging his head.

"S…Sorry…"

"Oh, Seifer… Were you expecting me to do such a funny thing like that??"

"N-No… I was just leaning on the door, then you opened it…" 

"Okay, now… I believe you, so would you please get off me, you're not that light!!!"

Seifer blushed "Sorry…"  
He got to his feet and helped Zell, too.

"What were you doing here, anyway?" he asked Zell "I thought you went to Balamb with Irvine, Squall, Selphie and Rinoa…" "Naw! I would have been in the way… They're all lovey-dovey…"

"I can quite imagine…"

"Besides, I was going to train myself, so I came here to get my gloves…" 

"Can I join you?"

"A spar?"

"Yes."

"Okay, grab you gunblade and let's go!"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They were facing themselves in the Training Center.   
"Okay, the rule is 'there're no rules', 'kay?" Seifer said.

Zell nodded.

"Don't hold anything, punch me, kick me… etc., 'kay?

Zell grinned and nodded.

"Try to kill me, 'kay?"  
Zell went serious. "Seifer…"  
"I'll block all the blows, don't worry… I'm better than you, ain't I?"

Zell snarled and launched himself toward the other blonde. 

Seifer dodged the fist and counter with his Hyperion, barely missing the tattooed-boy. 

The moment after Zell had touched the ground, he punched Seifer in the chest, making him do some steps back; then the younger boy kicked him off his feet, sending him on his butt.

"So, Who's the gay boy?" Zell asked.

"I'll never tell you…"

"No? Get to your feet." 

Seifer jumped to his feet and attacked Zell, but the smaller SeeD dodged all his blows and countered with a well-aimed punch at his jaw.

"Who's the better now? So, that name?"

"You'll have to kill me first!!"

"The rule is there're no rules, you said…"  
"Right."

"Try to kill me, you said…"  
"Right."

"Then I'll kill you!!"  
He charged at Seifer.

"DOLPHIN BLOW!!"

"BURNING RAVE!!!

"And then FINAL HEAVEN!!!"

Seifer fell to the ground clutching at his chest.

"Gagh… That… hurts…"

He managed to said, before he fainted.

Zell scratched the back of his head.

"Maybe I exaggerated a bit…" he mumbled, casting a cure spell on Seifer. Then he leaned the other boy on his shoulder and started to go back to his room.

He laid Seifer on his bed, then he went to the bathroom and took the first-aid kit. When he came back Seifer was already conscious. 

"How do you feel?"

"You improved since last time."  
"Yes, and you didn't use all your strength… You should have…"

__

I feared I might hurt you…

"Look what you made me do!! I used my limit on you…"

"I'm still alive…"

"Because I didn't use all my strength…"

"See? I did the same thing… You're just luckier…"

"I suppose you're right… Now took off the shirt I have to take a look at your ribs… I used a cure spell but don't know how much it worked…"

Seifer froze.

__

I have to take off my shirt… in front of him??!!

He had already been half-naked, in the same room of Zell, but at the time the boy was facing the other way.

"C'mon, we don't have the whole day…"

Slowly, Seifer took off his shirt, that joined his coat, previously taken off by Zell, on a chair.

"Okay, let me se…"

Zell began to press gently his ribs at each side of his body. 

"That hurts?" he asked when Seifer gasped.

The other blonde nodded, pressing his lips together, hoping Zell wouldn't see the erection he was having for such closeness…

"Yep. That must be broken… A potion should work…" he gave Seifer a potion from the first-aid kit. 

"Feeling better?"

Seifer nodded.

"Good."

Zell took the first-aid kid and disappeared in the bathroom.

Seifer felt disappointed when the other SeeD's caring touch had disappeared, but felt also relieved because he feared he might have done something he'd regret for the rest of his life.

"Who's the gay boy, then?"

"Still with that story?"  
"Yeah, I can't do anything if I'm curios!!"

"Just tell me something…"

"Yeah?"

"What the hell are you going to do when you'll know who the fuck he is?"   
"Hey, calm down!!"

"I'm calm." Seifer growled "So?!"

"Dunno… Maybe I'll just leave him alone… Maybe I'll became friend with him… Maybe I'll blackmail him… Hell! I don't know! Tell me who the hell he is!!"

"Fuck you."

Seifer stood up and went to the window, gazing outside.

"Is someone I know? How old is he?"

Seifer felt the rage, the frustration, the sadness, beginning to build up inside of him…

__

If Zell doesn't stop, I'm going to explode!!

"Is he a SeeD? What color is his hair? And his eyes?"

"IT'S _ME_!!!!" Seifer yelled 

"What??!!"  
"I'm _gay_!! A.S.!!! **A**lmasy **S**eifer!!! The gay boy is _me_!!!" he finally burst out.

"Y…You?"

"Yes, me!!" 

__


	6. Us

Zell eyed Seifer for a long time, then began to laugh

Zell eyed Seifer for a long time, then began to laugh.

"You almost got me!! Geez, Seifer!! You're a good actor!!"

Seifer looked at Zell and the smaller blonde gasped. His face was impassible, but his eyes weren't. They showed hurt, sadness, frustration and another thousand emotions that Zell couldn't quite explain.

"I was acting." he simply said.

"Really?"

"Really."  
"Oh, god… Sorry for pissing you off with all those questions, then…"  
Seifer blinked: Zell was more upset with the fact that he'd asked so many questions, than that he was gay.

"Why that look?"

"You're not… angry…"  
"Angry? At you? Why should I be angry? Did I get angry about Crys being gay? No. I'm not angry at you being gay, either. Ma taught me that every person has its own way of living, and that we must respect it… If it doesn't hurt someone, of course… And you aren't hurting anyone…" he explained.

"Oh. Thanks, I guess…"

"What time is it?"

"Half past four."

"Half past four??!!!" Zell exclaimed, bolting up.

"Y-Yes, why?"  
"I promised Crys, we would go to Balamb at four!!"  
"Oh, shit!!! I forgot about her!!"

"We have to get ready!!"  
"I'll take the bathroom…" Seifer offered.

Zell changed his clothes in a heart beat.

"Seifer!!"

"Yeah?"

"Get ready, I'll wait for you at the entrance of the Garden, we're going by car!!!"

"Okay!"

The scarred-blonde heard the door shut and after some seconds he exulted.

__

God! I can't believe, he took it so well!! I'd thought he would have kicked me out of the door!! The first step is done…

He put a clean shirt on, smiling to himself. He then changed his black trousers in blue-jeans. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, before turning to leave. The voice he'd heard earlier was completely out of his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What about this?" Crys asked, getting out of the changing room.

She was wearing a long and clinging red dress. 

"So?"

"The color doesn't suits you…" Zell said.

"Too elegant…" Seifer observed.

"What does that mean?? I'm supposed to be elegant!!" Crys exclaimed.

"I know, but what I meant was that… that you need something _sexier_…" Seifer exclaimed.

"I see…"

"You should try something violet or black…"

"So, something sexier and dark…"

Some minutes later Crys walked in front of the two boys and spun around allowing the guys to see her better. 

Seifer and Zell froze: she was wearing a violet long-sleeved dress with a neckline that reached her bellybutton, just like…  
"Edea…" Seifer barely whispered the words and took some steps back. 

"I think you should change dress, Crys…" Zell said.

"Why?"

"I'll explain you later."  
"Huff!! You guys are really weird!!"  
She came back after a while. Now she was wearing a short, black sheath dress.

"Now?"

"You're perfect!!" Seifer said.

"Really beautiful!!" Zell added.

"Okay, I'll take this…" Crys said to the shop assistant, after she'd changed back "How much is it?"

"2000 guil, Miss." 

"What??!!!" Zell exclaimed.

"Here you are." Crys said, lending the girl the money. "Goodbye."

"Remind me not to buy dress like that…" Zell said.

"I don't think you'd need it…"

"Yeah, I know…"

"Thanks, guys. For everything!!" Crys put her left arm around Seifer's neck and the right around Zell's "I owe you one!!" 

She kissed the cheek of each boy.

"You're invited at my place…" Zell said.

"Your place?"

"Yes, I phoned my mom after we had lunch and she said that she wasn't at home, so we won't be disturbed!!!" 

"Do you cook weel?"

"Of course!!"  
"Good, 'cause I like eating!!" Crys exclaimed.

"And you, Seifer?"

"It's okay, as long as we'll be back before curfew…"  
"Of course we'll be back at that time!!"

"Then now, let's go at my place!!!"  
"But it's only six o'clock… it's too early for dinner…"  
"We can still talk…"

"Oh… Okay…"

"Hey!! Guys!!" a voice behind them called.

"Rinoa!!"

The dark-haired girl caught up with them.

"So, Rin..." Zell asked "How are going your SeeD tests?" 

"The practice exam will be next month, I'm so excited!!"

"And Irvine?"

"He's in my class…"

"Maybe you'll be their supervisor, Seifer…" Zell said 

"What are you doing here, guys?"

"We went shopping and now we're heading towards Zell's house to have dinner…" Crys explained.

"Oh… We're on the beach if you want to come…Quistis is there, too, she came at the very last moment…"

"Quistis??" Crys exclaimed, excited, then her face fell "But I haven't any swimsuit…" 

"I'll lend you one, we have more or less the same build…" Rinoa assured her.

Crys turned toward Zell and Seifer. "Guys?"

"Don't worry, we'll be okay… Go!!"  
"Okay… Can you please bring the dress with you?"

"Of course!"

"Bye, guys!!"

"Bye!!"

Seifer and Zell remained to watch Crys and Rinoa's forms, until they disappeared behind a corner.

"Let's go back at my place." Zell said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zell opened the door and allowed Seifer to enter.

"Make yourself at home."

Seifer was tensed. 

__

I'm in Zell's house… Zell's house_!!!_

He sat on the couch and he stayed there like he was frozen in place.

"You coming?"  
"W-What?"  
"Eating… I have a few pizzas in the fridge… but you have to come here to eat them, you know…"

"Y-Yes…"  
He got up and walked into the kitchen.

"Sit down." Zell pointed him a chair in front of him, then he got up and put the pizza in the microwave.

"You heard?"

"What?"

"Headmaster Cid will nominate another headmaster…"  
"Really? And who would that be?"

"Probably Squall, or maybe even Quistis…"

"I don't think Squall will be happy with that… He's like me: he likes the fights and hate formalities…"  
"Right…"

"And you?"

"Me what?"

"Are you happy with this situation?"  
"What situation?"  
"You are a SeeD, your Ma is proud of you, every time you walk in town, crowd of children gather around you, no one dares to insult you openly…"  
"Yes, that's pretty positive!!"  
"Let me finish…"  
"Okay…"

"Your name is more important than yourself; like Squall, Quistis and the others you're on a pedestal and everyone watches you from distance, like Squall a few months ago, you're alone… No one comes near you, you're a superhero: superheroes protect people but they're all alone… The only one who was really near you left you for another guy… Now I'll ask you again: are you happy with this?"  
Zell blinked. He had never thought like this. He didn't want to believe what Seifer had said, but it was the truth.

"I… I…"

The microwave biped. Zell got up and took out the pizza.

"Sorry, you know…"

Zell put a slice of pizza in his plate, Seifer took one himself.

"Never mind…"  
"I suppose I let my frustration free…"  
"Now tell me: are you happy?"  
"No, I'm not. Well… you and Crys are real friends, even Squall and the others seem not to hate me… But, every time I walk into the corridors of the Garden I hear everyone talking behind my back and swearing to kill me someday… And when it's past curfew and I'm alone I have to watch my back for fear to be attacked… But this is bearable… The thing that scares me most are the nightmares…"

"Nightmares?"  
"You know, _her_…"  
Zell nodded.

"So we are two depressed and unhappy guys eating a pizza…"

"At your place."

"At my place."

"Right…"

Zell bolted up suddenly, making Seifer jump in surprise.

"Enough with this self-pity!!! We have to smile!! 'Cause the future is brighter than the present!!"  
"Shit!! Chicken Wuss you gave me a heart-attack!!"

"Ah!! You called me Chicken Wuss!! I'll make you regret that!!"  
Zell jumped at Seifer and they fell to the ground.

"Get off me!!"  
"Never!!"  
The tattooed-boy started to tickle him and when he touched his back Seifer squirmed.

"Ah!! You're ticklish here!!"  
Seifer countered and Zell began to laugh and tried to take away the other's hands. Unable to do that, he just continued his tickling.

After some minutes they were on the floor, panting and laughing.

"You're crazy, Chicken Wuss…"  
"You, too… Scarred-One…"  
"Awww… Damned Red-Tip…"  
"Let's go on with the nicknames…"

"Squall… Fearless-Leader…"  
"Puberty-Boy, you once said…"

"Yeah, right…"

"And Selphie… Hyperactive-Girl…"  
"Guns-And-Girls-Guy…"  
"Let me guess… Irvine?"

"Yeah…"  
"Love-Girl…"  
"Rinoa? Then Quistis…"

"Instructor…"  
"And you, Zell…"

"You've already said that, Seifer…"

Seifer turned his head towards him and stayed silent for a long time, just looking in his eyes.

"Most-Beautiful-Thing-On-The-Planet… You like it?"  
"Seifer…"

The scarred-boy stroked the other's face.

"Seifer…" Zell hugged him and they laid still on the floor.

"You stupid, why didn't you tell me before?" he whispered in his ear.  
"Because I didn't know what you would have said…" he replied, then added "I don't know what you'll say…"  
"What should I say, then?"  
"I hope you like me, too… but… It's you the one who has to take the decision…"  
"I know… And it's not easy…"

"Just tell me, if you don't like me, at least will be friends…"

"It's not that I don't like you, it's just… I don't know if I _really_ like you or it's just because I'm feeling alone…"  
"I don't care as long as I can stay with you…"  
"But it's not fair towards you…"  
"I really don't give a shit…"  
Zell sighed.

"Zell…" Seifer looked in his eyes, grey ones met bluer than blue ones. He closed his eyes and leaned forward and touch his lips with his ones in a ghostly kiss. 

He drew back and started to say something, but he didn't have the time, Zell had already leaned forward and caught his lips in a strong and passionate kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ma Dincht walked down the streets of Balamb. It was late at night. 

She had promised Zell that she would have been back two hours earlier, but the train from Deling City had arrived late, so…

She arrived in front of the door of her house, she inserted the key and opened it. 

She got in the house and she heard noises coming from Zell's room. She went up the stairs and opened a little the door of Zell's room.

Zell was on the bed and he wasn't alone. Seifer was with him, well _under_ him, and he wasn't really complaining, he was moaning and begging for more. 

Their naked bodies were moving in unison and she could quite imagine what they were doing. She smiled to herself. It was time for Zell to find someone who cared for him, and that tall guy cared. She could see it in his eyes every time he looked at Zell… And that guy didn't deserve to be alone…

She closed the door and descended the stairs without a noise. Maybe she would spend the night at the Inn…

"  


__


	7. Calm before the storm

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER SEVEN

Seifer opened his eyes and looked around him. 

__

This isn't my room, where…? Oh yeah…

He got up and searched the room for Zell but he wasn't there. His heart sank.

__

Oh, shit… I knew… I shouldn't…

His legs gave under him and he fell on the bed.

"Hey, sleepy-head!! Breakfast is ready!!"

Seifer bolted up, startled.

"Z-Zell…"

"Yes, that's my name…" the other blonde replied "Now would you lift that lovely ass of yours from my bed and come eating the breakfast??"

"S-Sure…"

"Then, hurry up…"

Zell got out of the room and closed the door. Seifer remained there, with his jaw that was reaching his knees.

"He… likes me?"  
******

"Mmm… This is good…"

"Thanks… My Ma taught me…" Zell replied "Hey!!"  
"What?"  
"She should be here by now, I wonder where she is…"  
"Right here." came a voice from the door. "Hi Zell… Seifer…"  
"Good morning Mrs. Dincht." Seifer got up.

"Sit down, boy, and enjoy the breakfast…"  
"Hey, Ma… Where did ya go??"

"I slept at the Inn… I thought you two where… _busy _and should be left alone."  
At that comment Seifer paled and Zell's eyebrows shot up.

"You… You were here, Ma?"

"As I said you were busy… and you didn't notice me, so I thought I'd leave you two alone…"  
"Mrs. Dincht… I… Uh… We…" Seifer stammered.

The big woman hit Seifer in the back and she almost made him lost his balance.

"Don't worry, boy… I'm okay with this, as long as Zell is…"

"Oh… Okay, Mrs. Dincht…"  
"And call me Ma… Mrs. Dincht is too--"  
"GUYYSS!!"

"Crys!!"

"What are you doing here??"  
"Sorry guys, the door was open…"

She came into the kitchen holding Quistis' left hand. 

"This kitchen has become too little… I'm going upstairs…"  
"What are you doing here, Crys?" Zell asked, after his mother had left.

"Just checkin' on ya, guys…"  
"You disappeared…" Quistis added, hugging Crys by the waist "…We were worried."

"The only place we could think of was Chicken Wuss' house, so we came here…"

"Sorry to have bothered ya…"  
"Don't worry Zell…" Quistis said.  
"Okay, now you've found us..."

"Yeah…"

"Let's go, Crys…"

"'kay, Quisty… Bye, bye guyyss!!"

They got out of the room and out of the house.

"I could recognize her only by the way she say 'guyyss!!'…" Zell said.

"Yeah… she's totally crazy…"

"Seifer…"  
"Mmmh?"  
Zell pressed his lips against Seifer's. He locked his arms around the shorter boy's neck and deepened the kiss, while Zell was moving his hands up and down Seifer's back. The kiss broke and left both men panting.

"We should" kiss "go…" kiss

"Shut" kiss "up…" kiss

"Class" moan "will start" kiss "in thirty minutes…" kiss

The tattooed-boy sighed and let go of Seifer.

"Okay, let's go…"  
They stood up.

"Ma!! We're going back at the Garden!! Bye, Ma!!"  
"Bye Mrs. Din…er… I mean… _Ma_…"  
"Bye Zell, bye Seifer…"  
******

"Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit" Zell was chanting "We'relatewe'relate…"

He was driving like a crazy and Seifer was closing his eyes and holding at everything that seemed safe enough for dear life.

"Zell slow down!!"

"We are late!!"  
"If you kill us we won't even arrive!!!"  
"Have a little faith in me…"  
Seifer opened his eyes and looked at him.

"Faith? In you?" he said.

"Yes." Zell answered.

"Don't make me laugh!!"  
"What??! You'll regret what you've said!!" Zell exclaimed. 

His hands left the wheel and went for Seifer neck.

"Zell!! Watch where you're going!!" Seifer exclaimed.

Zell took back the wheel in his hands and the car went back to the road.

"We're arrived!!" he declared after a tremendous screeching halt. Before getting out of the car Seifer inhaled various times.

"You coming?"  
"Gimme sometime, please. I've just faced Death. I need a little to recover, ya know?"  
"You sounded like Raijin, you know?"  
"Did I?"  
"Yes, you did. Now let's go."  
They stepped into the hall of the Garden. Nobody was around, all the students were in the classroom.

"Oh, Hyne!! I'll probably get a negative note on my curriculum…"  
Seifer said more to himself than to Zell.

"Three months ago you wouldn't have talked like this…"  
"Three months ago I was a bastard and I didn't really care…"

They walked silently toward the elevator. Then Zell stopped suddenly.  
"What?" Seifer asked him.

"Ehm… Seifer??"  
"Yeah…"  
"Our classed is dismissed today… Our teachers are on a mission…"  
"WHAT??!!"

"Err… There was a lot on my mind… I forget about this… and…" he began to backed slowly, putting his hands up.

"And YOU almost_ killed_ me on that car??!!!!"  
"I'm sorry… eh…"  
Seifer grabbed him by his waist and drew him forward for a kiss.

"You. Me. Our room. Now."  
"Yes. Chicken Wuss understood." Zell said, smiling. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you sure?" Quistis asked.

"Of course… They did it last night…" Crys smiled.

"Seifer and Zell?"

"Yup."

"I can't believe it… They seemed to hate each other…"  
"People change…" Crys said.

"I suppose you're right…"  
"I'm always right…"  
"Yeah, sure."

They were in their rooms. They had just woken up and, while Crys was eating, Quistis was in the bathroom, dressing. They were talking trough the open bathroom door.

Suddenly Crys went serious and looked and Quistis.

"Quistis?"  
"Yes?" the blonde SeeD turned towards her, finding herself staring in a pair of sky-blue eyes.

"I really like you… Yes, I like you. Maybe I even love you."

Quistis remained silent for a long time.

"I like you too, Crys…"  
"I want you to remember what I've just said, right? I like you. Nothing can change that. Whatever will happen in the future I'll always like you. Don't forget that, okay?"  
"Y…Yes…" 

"Good."  
"Why are you saying me this?"  
"I've just told you. I want you to remember the feelings that I have for you. I don't want to be forgotten. To be forgotten is worse than to die."  
"I'll always remember you, Crys. No matter what will happen."  
Crys got up and went towards her. She kissed her on the lips then she hugged her tightly. 

"I'm happy now. I'm afraid this won't last long." the shorter, red-haired girl whispered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I love you, Zell… You know that?"  
"Yes, I know…"  
"And you?"  
"Me what?"

"You love me?"  
"Yes… Yes I think so…"  
"Chicken Wuss?" the nickname was spoken quietly, like it was a word made only for him.

"Yes, Scarred-One?"  
Seifer chuckled. "Thank you."  
"For what?"  
"For trusting me, for being here, for not running away, for being born…"  
"For the last one I think you should thank my parents…"  
"Then, thanks Zell's mom and Zell's dad… Oh and thank Ma Dincht and Pa Dincht for raising him so well…"  
"Yeah… Now it's my turn…"  
"Your turn?"

"I thank you Seifer for teasing me all those years…"  
"What? I thought you hated that!!"

"Yes, but… Without you around making fun of me would have been a really empty life…"  
"You Chicken Wuss!!"  
"When did you start to have feelings for me?"  
"When you came at the Garden… I remembered you from the Orphanage, when you were a little, annoying child… And when I saw you here you were just like an angel for me…"

Zell found himself blushing.

"I was right after all…" Zell whispered.

"About what?"  
"You've found the one who's longing for your smile…"  
Seifer didn't reply, he just hugged his _lover_.

Comments: Alright… Here we are… Happiness ends here, guys. From now on there will be something very… very… Oh, I don't want to spoiler anything… Just keep reading. Thanks for all the beautiful reviews about this fic and the other two that I wrote. Thanks guyyss (as Crys'd say)!! Stay tuned!!!


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